Okayy.

I just don't have any new conversations between me and Piddle. My apologies. But, today is in fact my birthday. Sadly, i didn't get to spend it with Piddle. Although, i did get to see her for a few hours. Though, we didn't get our ice cream. Yet she got to meet my wonderful boyfriend. Even though he's quiet and shy. Anywho. It's been an interesting day... It's a mans world. I have become irrtated at how limited women are.

Stupid YANKEES!

Piddle: Hiya Batman!

Batman: Hiya Pidge!

Piddle: I'm taking a how ocean city-an are you quiz.

Batman: Fun.

Piddle: mhmm. I'll be a disgrace if I get anything wrong.

Batman: Hahahaha yep.

Piddle: IM AN EXPERT!!!! YAY!!!

Batman: loi. Wellll i coulda told you that. ima piddle expert.

Piddle: hehe. guess who's phone is still off?

Batman: hmm. 3 guesses?

Piddle: haha. yup

Batman: Sarah. Grampa. MB?

Piddle: nope. santa claus. which, roughly translates to MB so, your right I s'pose.

Batman: LOI. I love ya'll. Loi. Stupid yankees...

Piddle: huh? oh!! gotcha!

-snort-

Batman:

...

You just proved the whole 'Stupid yankee' thing.

Piddle: nuh uh. I just had an "ah ha moment"

Batman:

....

And how many a day do you have?

Piddle: bout 5.

Batman: Exactly.

Piddle: Billion.

GERBILS

Batman: TAKE THE GERBILS AND RUN! ITS ONLY BROCCOLI! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

Piddle: But.. but.. DEAR GOD THAT THING!! IT IS TOO WORTH IT, I SAY!!

Batman: NOO! GO GO GO! -mission impossible song- GOOO! COVER! GERBILS ARE WORTH IT! BROCCOLI! NO. AHHH!!! GET THAT LEASH OFF BOY!! GO!

Piddle: Fine, fine. IM COMINGGG!!!

Batman: YUSS! wOOt!

Piddle: HAHAHAH! I WIN!

Ice cream and Engagements...

Piddle: Okay, so mum and I were out talking by the pool tonight....

Batman: With ice cream?!? (we liked to talk and eat ice cream by the pool when I still lived there)

Piddle: Sadly, No... But we have this amazing vanilla stuff that tastes like cookies. Which I don't normally prefer vanilla ice cream, but this stuff is good. Anyhow, we were having a conversation.

Batman: About?

Piddle: Well, first we were discussing the usual 'who's happy here in TX, and who isn't, and who wouldn't be happy no matter where he lives, and whether or not moving here was a good choice or not and then she says something completely random but reaally ironic in a way. I have it quoted word for word if you want it.

Batman: Yes. I do.

Piddle: She goes: "Just think, if we hadn't left MD, you'd have quit gymnastics with no place to go. You'd be in Kinsey's bitch clique. You'd be engaged to Ryan... cause that's how those Eastern shore folk are, they get hitched young.. Mrs. Debbie and I would be related!"

Batman: ( I sent no response at this time since i had gone to run the dog)

Piddle: Hello..?

Batman: Sorry, Running the dog... like i need more running.. . I liked the Ryan part a lot, dear. (In previous posts {if mentioned} he's also called MB)..

Piddle: Ahahahahahahah... It was soooo funny. And UNEXPECTED.

Batman: I bet so.

Piddle: It was! My MUM said that. My very own MOTHER!! Said those exact words!!!! Which, can only mean one thing...

Batman: And that is?

Piddle: THAT WOMANS ON TO ME, ON TO ME, I TELL YOU!!! I mean, Think about it. Why else would she throw that out for good measure? For her HEALTH? Is this going to get blogged..? :/

Batman: It should.. WAIT...!

Piddle: I agree. It should. WAIT WHAT?!?

Batman: DO YOU THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE FOUND THE BLOG?!?

Piddle: Whaa?? No. And, hypothetically, if she had, why would that answer the question?

Batman: IDK! I think i have run to much for a day, dear, because, at this precise moment in time, i happen to me GIGGLY.. PUMPED AND I COULD KICK ASS!!!!!!!!!! (Im in softball, and that morning we had run 3 miles, and i then ran another two that night, sprinting most thanks to my dog)

Piddle: Hahaha. I happen to feel very sleepy and curious as to where exactly the HELL that statement came from. D'ya Think it was the night I found out he still liked me? Remember, she came in and said " I can here you screaming..." and then put two and four together and knows something she thinks i don't think she knows but im on to her just as much as she's on to me??

Batman: Possibly. Although that was rather confusing..

Piddle: Yes. Well. I'm going to go to sleep, I'll text you tomorrow on the very same subject. Until then, G'day mate! whoops! I meant goodnight!

Batman: Uh huh. Goodnight.

What?? THREE syllables?? Oh.. Damn...

Theres this thing that happens every year here in the town I moved back to. I recieved a mass text message that your meant to forward. Well, Piddle hates those. I didn't actually read it, I just kinda sent it. I got back the following:

Piddle: Did you even READ what you just sent me?

Batman: No. No, not really.

Piddle: Two syllables: PARANOID.

Batman: Uhmm.. Thats 3..

Piddle: DAMN. Your right.

--- We went on about it, I was teasing her for it, although I can't remember what i said, and as I was heading to bed at 2 in the morning, I texted her.--

Batman: HI PIDDLE!

Piddle: HI BATMAN!

Batman: How are you darlin?

Piddle: Fabulou, you?

Batman: Tiiired. Those people had the audacity to drag me around til 11 o'clock, i think later, even, SHOPPING! GAH!!

Piddle: Hahahahahahahah....Hahahahahahahaha.. Okay. I'm done. Wait... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA....

Batman: Jerk.

Piddle: Hahaha.. But you love me.

Batman: I suppose. :)

Piddle: Haha. What's up?

Batman: Nothin. I had so many saved messages that my phone would only hold 84 message at once. I had to move all the pics to my comp., and delete msgs I didn't have to have.

Piddle: Fun!

Batman: I guess so. And I hafta get up at 6 AM to go shopping... AGAIN!

Piddle: Why?!?!?!?!

Batman: Cuz of Krazy Daze*. It's like 5 days where everything in town is on sale and you get reaaalllyyyy good deals. Like, I got a pair of 400 dollar cowboy boots for 139.

Piddle: Whoa!!!

Batman: 4 pairs of riding jeans that shoulda totaled up to 250 for 75.

Piddle: Wow...

Batman: Yup.

Piddle: Have you thought of going to sleep?

Batman: Since 2 this afternoon when I was told I would be going shopping.

Piddle: haha...

Batman: The funny part of that is that I'm NOT joking.. :)

Piddle: Haha.. So shopping at SIX IN THE MORNING?

Batman: Thats what I said..

Piddle: I just... Even for ME thats... SIX?

Batman: I know. I get it. Well, TWO syllables: Ridiculous... HAHAHAHAHA...

Piddle: JERK.

Batman: HAHAHAHA.. Ahem.. Yes, Dear.. LMAO!

Piddle: haha You should blog both of those. The one where i did it and then just now where you decided to make fun of me. :P

Batman: Hehe.. Okie Dokie..

Piddle: For the record I was thinking Para-Noid. Not Pair-a-noid..

Batman: IDC! You STILL got it WRONG! Your in fricken PAP ENGLISH and you couldn't count the damn syllables from an On-LEVEL ENGLISH CLASS SAT PREP LIST!!!!

Piddle: Paranoid is NOT on an on level SAT prep list.

Batman: I bet soooo.

Piddle: I bet NOT.

Batman: You wanna bet the bowling alley or the wing shop?

Piddle: Hell no! I'll bet the cocktail, though.

Batman: Ha! Okay! I'll bet.. Well. Damn, what hould I bet?

Piddle: A jackalope? Which, Sadly, we agreed are not real... I told you so.

Batman: YOU told ME? I TOLD YOU!!

Piddle: Hehe.. Right.. umm.. Well.

Batman: Haha we could bet quite a few things, I'm sure. I'm jut not sure of WHAT at the moment..

Piddle: Lemme know if you can think of something..

Batman: Okay. I'll let u knw tomorrow after I've SLEPT. I bet thats an on level word, too. HAHAHA ILY PIDDLE!!! Night.

Piddle: Slept has ONE syllable, I'm positive. Goodnight.

Batman: Berry good, little girl! You got it that time! HAHA! Niiiight.. Btw, supercalifragilisticexpialidoscious has 14 syllables.

Piddle: Right. Night.

Fights with Exes...

A while back when I started datin my love Levi, a couple friends did NOT approve. They had been arguing, and threatening and stuff so I texted Piddle to save me. I was hysterical. So I texted her. and This is what happened: ( keep in mind shes like, 3 ft tall, and 5 lbs..)

Piddle: OMG! So I'm under the pillows and Snip walks over and I go " I'm hidin from you Snippie.. you gotta find me".. And then he's starin me in the face..hahaha... (Snippie is her kitty)

Batman: loi. ( I then tell her the whole story.)

Piddle: Well. Damn. Alright, thats it! I;m gonna kill them both, Then bring their sorry asses back to life and MB kill'em all over again and bring them back to life. I'll spare you all the Gory details... and then, if you want, you can kill them -smiles hopefully- SERIOUSLY?!? WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT? A REAL FRIEND??? yeah, cuz real friends totally blackmail each other. And... Uhmmm.. oh yeah, did i mention I'll kill them..?

Batman: please, do share, and be my guest.

Piddle: And like, no offense and all, but I'm getting the vibe that i'm a much better friend than they are. i woke up one day... Married to a pineapple! An UGLY pineapple!

Batman: You are.. and WTF?!

Piddle: Now I'm acting like a 4 yr old.... "escuse me, escuse me, welcome to my fort! NO! Dontgokitty!" Ahem..

Batman: wow..

Piddle: DUN DUN DUN!!!!! Super KITTY FIGHTING FORCE!!! We scratch peoples eyes out so you don't have to! Can i pwease haz teh yellow one? I like carboard and milk. Mac and CHEESE!!!

Batman: I'm confuzzled. are you okay?

Piddle: Bout five seconds ago woke up... married to a pony! GASP. You dont say... The Transformers are here! have you ever tried strawberry cheescake? No, I don't like that show.. Why do cows produce yogurt in the grand scheme of things? (No, she's NOT that stupid to think they do...)

Batman: Andrews cussin me out again...

Piddle: An. Drew. Hmmm.. Quite a predicament we have here, WATSON! Uhmm.. Oh, GOD, Lost my mind momentarily.. What's he saying??

and then I fell asleep at 3 in the morning....

One and infinity.

This all JUST happened on Facebook.....

Batman: HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Piddle: hi!!!! I just sneezed.

Batman: haha I'm sorry..

Piddle: it was funny.

Batman: loi? Ha

Piddle: hahahaha...

Batman: Kittay kittay kittay.. RAWRR

Piddle: MEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOW..

Batman: Furr. Furr

Piddle: well, what's up?

Batman: ruff... loi

Piddle: hahahaha...guess what?

Batman: WHAT?

Piddle: I'm thinking of a number...

Batman: ok...?

Piddle: between one and infinity.

Batman: one

Piddle: okay. you win. I wasn't actually thinking of a number.

Batman: HA! BLOGGIN THAT ONE!

Piddle: haz you blogged more?

Batman: Uhmm. Yes. The one from last night

Piddle: okies. I go see then.

Batman: okie dokie.

Piddle: hahah that's funny. i liked it.

Batman: I'm posting a new one.

Piddle: YAY!

Movies, Dishwashers, and Numbers.

I was at the movies today seeing Harry Potter and right after the movie i send Piddle a text saying it was over. Her reply happened to be:

Piddle: I've turned into quite the cleaning freak. I'd rather was dishes by hand, as I use them, rather than having them sit in the dishwasher. Which, after I emptied it today, my Dad came home and put a CUP in it! The NERVE of him!

Batman: I'm sorry, my dear.

Piddle: A CUP! GAH!

Batman: haha.. I'm sorry.

Piddle: And in the back of your mind you're saying "God, get her to a psychiatric ward..."

Batman: Yup.

Piddle: ha.

Tennis ball hail.

So soon after posting the first text message story and Piddle losing her mind, A storm started here. Well, Here in Oklahoma (the part i live in) Is directly in the middle of our dear tornado alley... Yippee....... So we had storms all last night head from Southern Kansas, here, and furthur South. I have yet to find out if it made it to Piddle. Well, when we got the storm, there were Wall Clouds and such. I'll post that bunch of messages, starting out while finishing the post from last night.

Batman: Go look on my blog. I just posted a new one.

Piddle: Kay.

Piddle: Thats hilarious! Are you gonna post this one too?

Batman: Maybe. Go to Facebook now and look at Chris's status.

Piddle: Where is it?

Batman: Should be on your home page. If not I'll text it to you.

Piddle: Kay.

Piddle: I don't see it. What is it?

Batman: (It was a quote from my friend Chris to my friend Ashley, and I thought it was... not right) " I will never forget the day we kissed, or the day we met. The sky may fall, and the stars may, too, but in the end, I will always love you.

Piddle: Awww

Batman: No no no, Dear, Not AWWW..

Piddle: Okay. Why no Aww?

Batman: Yes, cute, but, ASHLEY AND CHRIS?! No no no no no.

Piddle:Wait?! Ashley who?

Batman: ( I then replied with her full name with DAMNIT attatched, but I won't put that up)

Piddle: Ew ew ew ew ew ewwww!!!! Accio SOAP! -Substitutes foot in mouth for soap-

Batman: I know. Apparently, he REALLY likes her.

Piddle: Ewwww... How could anyone REALLY like her? Shes annoying!!?

Batman: Idk, dear. All i know is that they REALLY like each other. I can't justify it. At all.

Piddle: Hmph. Well, in a good way, a jealous way, good for her. She's found someone who apparently REALLY likes her, AND he doesn't live 14 states away!! But, Still!! She's Annoying!

Batman: Hahaha NOW he does!

Piddle: Who does what?

Batman: Now Chris lives in Pennsylvania.

Piddle: Damn, thats farther north than My country. (her home state is relatively North)

Batman: Yep!

Piddle: Well, in a way, good for her because her guy that lives fourteen states away actually KISSED her. But shes still annoying.

Batman: Yes, Dear.

Piddle: Yes. Yes.

Batman: Yes, Dear. Loi.

Piddle: Fab. Are you planning on blogging this??

Batman: I should. Loi. I will. I'm goin to bed for the moment. ( I have a tendency to go to bed, but then say "I can't sleep")

Piddle: For the moment. You'll be up in ten minutes "I can't sleep!".

Batman: Yes, Dear.

Piddle: haha Talk to you in ten, then.

Batman: Haha. Kay. "Night".

----5 minutes late---

Batman: Kylie just followed me up the stairs to my room trying to hug and kiss me goodnight. (My sister)

Piddle: AWWWW!!!

Batman: No. Not really.

Piddle: Thats Adorable! Did you at least let her hug you?

Batman: Kinda.

Piddle: Good girl. Cookie for you.

Batman: Nom nom...

Piddle: Okay, sleep now.

Batman: Yes, dear.

Piddle: Good girl.

Batman: Hahahahahaha... Oh. I mean. Ahem.. Yes, dear.

Piddle: -glares at you- Talk to you in five minutes.

Batman: haha I'm sleepy enough I think I may sleep. But, FYI, Storm over us headed your way with tennis ball sized hail and tornado/wall clouds.

Piddle: Kay. Thanks. And COOL! Hail an tornadoes. Funn... Probably won't hit us, though.

Batman: Nope. Won't be strong enough, anyway. And if it does, you'll get pea sized hail and just have odd coloured skies. Nothin serious/real. Just fun threats. :) Aren't you lucky to have me? hahahhahahaha... ( She's from the North, I've lived in Tornado Alley my whole life)

Piddle: Oh, Yes. (Enthusiatic, don't ya think?)

Batman: Loi. Whatever. I just heard the hail start. I think I'll sleep now, Just in case the weather radio decides to go off. (the Weather radio is hooked up to a sound system in the house and if the weather becomes life threatening it Goes: BEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.. and lists off all the problems and what counties its in, blah, blah, and when that goes off for Tornadoes, we round up 3 days worth of clothes, the animals and head to the storm shelter next to the house which seat 18 and sit there til its over with food and drinks, etc... Real Fun if you feel like leavin it to video)

Piddle: Kay. Night.

Batman: Night.

Piddle: You know we say goodnight twelve times before one of us actually sleeps.

Batman: Yes, dear. I'm sleeping. *snore*

---5 minutes later---

Batman: A BIRD JUST HIT THE GODDAMN WINDOW! They seem to do that a lot when it storms.

Houston, I've left Texas.

Well, It's over. I've moved. Away from my dear Piddle. But that's okkie dokie hokey pokie because we have our FABULOUS text messages. I plan to make that an on-going Post. I have some funny Shiznittzle.. hehe.

Latest:

Piddle: Hullo, Batman, I started rambling bout the similarities pet turtles and birthday cupcakes in the store tonight!

Batman: Uhmm.. Why? And what, exactly, are they?

Piddle: (well, I didn't save this message for some, god-awful reason, but remember it had something to do with her mothers dear co-worker who is new and she didn't want to scare him, but didn't want it to seem like she didn't care... That type of thing...)

Batman: Right. Okay. Whats up?

Piddle: Hahahahah umm... damn. idk how to spell the word I'm looking for... lets go with peaches then.

Batman: Loi. Why Peaches?

Piddle. Oh. Well, it made sense in my mind cause peaches stated wth the same letter if the word I was going to use but didn't know how to spell. I'm the dude who's playing the dude, disguised as another dude. But what if your the dude who doesn't know what dude he is?

Batman: WTF?

Piddle: Tropic Thunder= Madness. Anyhow, so Jackalopes are real, ya know?

Batman: no, dear, they aren't. Where did you hear this? My mama found they weren't real the hard way.

Piddle: Really, really. They're like a cross between a goat and a jackrabbit. Wait thats not right. They're like a gazeboe. No, a gazelle, or an antelope. Or like a baby kangaroo.. a Jacky? No! a Joey!! Oh, I don't remember. But, I'm almost positive they are real. Oh, really? What's the Hard way? ( I then forgot to tell her the hard way. But my actual reply is next.)

Batman: Pidge! They are NOT real! They are fake!

Piddle: I googled!! Ha! And... It said they were an imaginary animal that is a cross between a jackrabbit and a goat. So, they are real! In my mind! (To set the record straight, it is a cross between a Jackrabbit who taste yummy, and an Antelope, who ARE NOT vertically challenged... I'll post that story later.)

Batman: Antelope, Pidge.

Piddle: Google said goat or Antelope. Wherevdo (I think she had a typo there, but i"m never sure with her) you think they get the part from? You've gone off your rocker into the deep end of the pudding hole. I'm afraid, Watson, that we will have to arrest her for the acts of... Justifying the use of household items as wrecking balls, and Oh, Dear! Not the cantelopes! Snip (her cat) Shut up! Vlad (her friend in her mind, yet another story) says hi.

Batman: LMAO.. Wow. Are you okay? (I'm a genius when it comes to responses)...

Piddle: Urgh! You and your shenangigans. You want something done right, Do it yourself, then!!! I'll have no part of your ceiling fans turning into G-Force Guinea Pigs. Yes, I'd love onve, but not a smoothie. Those are a tad nasty... BLUE CHEESE!! AHAAAHA!! Why did the Chicken or the Egg have to come first? I thought.... oooo.. Pebbles..

Batman: (I had been watching HGTV at this time) Are you watching HGTV, because that was the order of the commercials... >.<

Piddle: No, I don't usually watch HGTV. But, hmmm, I may as well start. Never too late to further your education, I always say. I've got a ship! Do you happen to have Wings? Or know of where i can purchase some?

Batman: Yes, I have a wing shop in my bathroom.. ( I think there was more to it than that.)

Piddle: I have a bowling Alley in my house! We can just.. Oh, I don't know. I'd rather not get into the messy stuff. The Mob wouldn't like it. But it'd be funnn. Quit Whining. How's your Cocktail? (I haven't had a thing to drink in months. Where that came from, Only Lord knows..) No, I will NOT eat your virtuous dairy products you crazed Lunatics!

Batman: Hmm.. Maybe we should screw Saturns, bend is rings, Kill Lexus, take the cowboys bottle, and melt the lock and key idea.

Piddle: That was... This ostrich!!! Them.. I! Meh! Huckleberry Fin?! The tale of Peter fricken Rabbit was more...well... It's dark in my room. Mike is telling me to go to sleep. Don't say anything rash now. Hmm.. fjduskseudiz. (idk..)

Batman: Hello, Mike. Then Sleep. Maybe we should forget the Mob?

Piddle: I'm not so sure. Damn the TORPEDOES! Fire at will! The small voice in the back of my head is yelling "YES YES YES SLEEP YES" But idk to trust it. It could be a clown.

Batman: (Not my poem, actually, from Lanna.. Yes, dear, i read those.)
I gazed across a cloudy room, the only thing I could see was pasty. I wondered what it could be, but I really needed to pee. Maybe it was good that I did, because it saved my life. Edward had gone to find a Britney Spears, and everyone else had forgotten me. Jake had decided to marry a kitten, and I was no longer his priority. I decided to leave the pasty object to rescue my bladder. As I went to open the door, I heard a roar. A clown flew out me through the clouds, I couldn't even scream. I kicked him hard in the groin and stabbed him in the eye with a fork I had in my shoe.

Piddle: Hmm. I suppose I will sleep.

Batman: Okay, love. I see. Give my hello to Mike and my love to Vlad. Or is it the other way around...? Hmm. I'll try to sleep, as well. Levi's working yet again.

Piddle: My love to NiBy. (My Vlad)

That all took place at like, 2 AM!!!!! It was one night my love had to work the "night shift" We can't actually call it that because its work that shoul dbe done during the day, but it's too hot in the Oklahoma summers for him and his "co-workers" to do. I then proceeded to send this to my Best guy friend Richie, and his reply was "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" I told him what it was and he said "it seemed as though you lost your mind!" I replied with "I almost have..."